Web design, printed correctly
Your website is ugly.
Nobody has told you. Telling someone their website is ugly is like telling a friend their baby is ugly, so everyone just says "it has such a nice smile." We will say it. Then we will fix it for a fraction of what you are afraid it costs.
Free. No signup. We fetch your page once to read it and do not keep it.
Concept illustration
Exhibit A · a dramatization
This is Jimmy's work.
Watch it get fixed.
or scroll, or drag the slider
Showing Jimmy's original site.
What you are looking at: one small, made-up business site, twice. The 1998 version has a scrolling marquee, a visitor counter, an under-construction sign and a tiled background. The corrected version has one headline, one main button and readable hours. Both are concept pieces, not a real client.
What we build
Five things, done properly.
01 Sites drawn for you Custom design, not a template with your logo taped on.
Layout, type and illustration chosen for your business and your customers. Fast on a cheap phone, usable with a screen reader, findable on Google. You get the site, not a login to a page builder.
02 Motion with a job Animation that guides the eye and never blocks the sale.
Movement that points at the thing you want clicked, explains something, or makes the page feel finished. Built to run smoothly on ordinary phones and to switch itself off for visitors who ask for less motion.
03 An AI front desk Answers customers at 2 a.m. and hands you the lead.
A chat agent that answers the questions you keep answering, in your voice, stays on script, and passes you a name and email when someone is ready. There is a live one further down this page. Try to break it.
04 Forms that reach you Every inquiry saved, spam filtered, and in your inbox.
Contact and quote forms with spam protection, validation that helps instead of scolds, a saved copy of every message, and an email to whoever should answer it.
05 Hosting and upkeep Fast hosting, patched software, one person to email.
We host it on a global edge network, keep it updated, and make small changes when you ask. When something breaks, you write to a human.
The live roast
Paste your address.
We'll be gentle. (We won't.)
A real audit of your real page: weight, mobile, clarity of the button, accessibility basics, SEO basics. Measured first, then roasted, then useful.
Want it fixed instead of just judged?
Book a call about this siteThe AI front desk
It never sleeps.
It is also the product.
This is a live customer-service agent, the same kind we build for other businesses. Ask it what we do, what a site costs, or try to talk it into something silly. It stays on script and hands a human the lead.
- Answers the repeat questions in your voice.
- Stays honest. It does not invent prices, promises or clients. Go on, try.
- Hands off. Give it your name and email and a human gets the lead.
Hi, I'm the AI front desk for NotJimmy. I can tell you what we build, how this works, or take a message for a human. What brings you in?
Lead captured That is what would land in your inbox.
AI can be wrong. Do not paste anything sensitive. Messages go to an AI provider to generate the reply, and your name and email are stored only if you ask it to pass them on.
How it works
Roast, sketch, build, keep.
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The roast
Paste your address above, or send it to us. You get an honest audit and, if you want, a call. Free.
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The sketch
We draw the new design before building anything. You react to pictures, not promises.
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The build
Built by hand: custom design, motion, forms and, if you want one, an AI agent. Checked on real phones and with a screen reader.
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The keep
Launch, then hosting, updates and small changes for a flat monthly fee. Or take the keys and go.
Receipts
Don't take our word. Take the numbers.
No clients to name-drop yet, so the proof is this page. It is hand-built, with no template, no page builder and no animation library, and these are its real Lighthouse scores on a simulated mid-range phone.
- 99Performance
- 100Accessibility
- 100Best practices
- 100SEO
Lighthouse, mobile profile (simulated Moto G Power, slow 4G), measured 2026-09-29. Home page: 167 KB over 14 requests.
Pricing
Honest about not knowing yet.
Questions
Things people ask quietly.
Is it really a fraction of what agencies charge?
That is the plan, and the reason is structural: no account managers, no layers, one designer-builder with AI handling the grunt work. We have not published numbers yet. You get a firm written quote after a short call, before any work starts, so you can compare it against whatever you were afraid of.
Who is Jimmy?
Jimmy is a composite of every neighbor kid, cousin and "my friend who knows computers" who ever built a small-business site for twenty dollars. Some of them did fine work. Most of the sites have a marquee. Jimmy is affectionate shorthand, not a real person, and the business in the demo is invented.
What happens to the address I paste into the roast?
We fetch that one public page, read it, and send a trimmed version of its text to an AI model to write the audit. We do not store the address or the page. Rate limits use a salted hash of your network address, not the address itself. Details are on the privacy page.
Can the roast be wrong?
Yes. It reads the HTML your server sends, measures what it can, and does not run your page in a browser, so it cannot see content that only appears after scripts run. Treat it as a sharp second opinion, not a lab report.
I already have a site on Wix, Squarespace or WordPress. Can you help?
Yes. We can rebuild it properly, move your content, and keep your address. A redesign of what you have is usually the quickest fix.
What does an AI customer-service agent actually do?
It sits on your site, answers the questions you keep answering, stays inside the rules you give it, and passes you the visitor's name and email when they are ready to talk. The concierge on this page is a working example. AI can make mistakes, so agents are built with firm limits and a human hand-off.
Who owns the site, and what if I want to leave?
Ownership, hosting and hand-over terms are written into your quote before you pay for anything, so there are no surprises later.
Last thing
Let's fix your baby's website.
Tell us what you have and what's wrong with it. A human replies with an honest opinion and a written quote, no pressure, no jargon.
No Jimmys were harmed